My father

I was watching House reruns on USA tonight and the episode Son of Coma Guy was on. It s the one with John Laroquette where the son needed a heart transplant and the father offers to kill himself to give it to him. He asks House what message he should leave for his son because he can t think of what he should need to say. House punts saying that it s not his kid. So he asks House what he would want to hear from his father. House replies You were right. My father passed away in . We had a rocky unstable violent abusive relationship. He spent years telling me I was wrong that I wasn t good enough I couldn t do anything right and most memorably that I was going to end up living on a park bench some day. What we tell our children has such a huge effect on who they become. My father spent so much time telling me I was going to fail that for the better part of a decade it s all I was capable of. Dropped out of many schools never went to college broke a few laws here and there an ou! tstandingly abnormal childhood. That doesn t mean you should coddle your children or tell them that everything they does is perfect that can have serious consequences as well. Positively framed negative feedback can be the difference between someone who breaks down upon the slightest criticism and someone who can take a criticism and turn it into a learning experience. Parents should be honest and supportive. So back to the topic at hand. My father. My father was raised in the deep south a little town called Kingstree South Carolina. He was raised in the s and s back when kids were taught not to show emotion not to show weakness. This created an entire generation of emotionally cripped assholes. He joined the Navy at what I can only assume was the age of records are vague as so many did by lying about his birthday. Presumably this was during the initial rumblings of the Nazi empire and he wanted to fight. More probably it was because he was the son of a dirt poor share crop! per in the Carolina tobacco fields and needed an escape from his family which given his personality was much worse. He married my mom in about six months before Pearl Harbor was bombed. She was a rare breed in the s a divorced catholic her first marriage consisting of a man who beat her violently for absolutely no reason. It was later discovered that my dad perpetrated his same brand of abuse on her for the or so years The worst part of it was the abuse was emotional and NOT physical. I never had marks bruises random sick days from school. Because the outward signs of abuse weren t there I was just a delinquent growing up handicapped from a young age by bad parenting. How bad is it that there are times I wish my father did hit me. Evidence of his abuse might have stopped it. In the years since he died I ve proven that he was wrong. In everything. Home family career whups and a purpose. And to top it off I do it without ever telling my kids they re going to end up sleeping on a park bench. I do however still have many scars and unlike physical ! scars these are wounds that will never fully heal. My need for and utter disappointment at the lack of outside approval being the most notable of my scars. and why I write this. What would I want my father to say to me I m sorry I was wrong. But he died before I had the chance to hear it.and THAT was his final act of abuse. P.S. I m the youngest of six my older siblings all show symptoms of abuse heavy drinking drug use emotional abuse of their spouses and children serial relationships more drinking etc. How did it end up that the one he was most certain was going to fail ended up being the success in the family. Posted November th under Family Kids My Story . Previous post Write a comment Name E mail URL Message Shredderfood

Source: http://www.shredderfood.com/?p=422


Another site recomended to review: used car dealer ( http://www.automoss.com.na/index.html )

Not much on my mind recently. I've ju! st been hanging out waiting for something to happen, but I don't care. So it goes. I just don't have much to say lately, not that it matters. I've just been letting everything happen without me recently.

Feel free to read: used cars namibia ( http://www.automoss.com.na/used_cars.html )